How our Gov now works...

[AlisoBob]

This explains the Gov't 'bail-out"


Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00 The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already'

Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell any body he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.
'
Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He was the financial adviser who figured out how to "bail us all out".

[south central hoon]

that one is super funny.

[teemtrubble]

Bobber your the man on that find that's a good one!

[lewisclan]

Bobber your the man on that find that's a good one!

x2

[iggys-amsoil]

Going forward in reverse.

[AlisoBob]

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money? "
A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "
A. Only a smidgen.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment? "
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? "
A. Shut up."


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.


We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), since those are the only businesses still in the US.

[britincali]

I support domestic brewerys!