Purina Diet

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Kuma
Posts: 854
Joined: February 7th, 2010, 8:26 pm
Location: Norco, Cali

Purina Diet

Post by Kuma »

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog
chow at Wal-Mart, for my
dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog. What
did she think, that I had an elephant? Since I had
little else to do, on
impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
and that I was starting the
Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I ended up in the
hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd
lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of every hole in my body
and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was
going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically every one in
the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food
had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in
the middle of the parking lot
to lick my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
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lewisclan
PVT. 1st Class
Posts: 4804
Joined: June 1st, 2007, 3:34 pm
Location: Yucca Valley CA

Post by lewisclan »

Awesome
Image"the game of life of is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well"
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Tharrell
Posts: 1670
Joined: January 27th, 2010, 11:03 am
Location: Mount Airy, NC

Post by Tharrell »

Damn, I just gotta pass that one on! :lol:
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killtman
Posts: 77
Joined: September 17th, 2011, 11:09 am

Post by killtman »

LMAO :rotfl:
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asteroid500
Posts: 1047
Joined: January 5th, 2009, 1:29 am
Location: Australia Melbourne

Re: Purina Diet

Post by asteroid500 »

Kuma wrote:
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food
had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in
the middle of the parking lot
to lick my butt and a car hit me.


I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Ive been in a hole for a while .... mate thank you ive not laughed so hard for so long ive lost my voice, my girlfriend didnt understand the 1st 4 renditions of you shopping experiance due to my uncontrollable laughter & you know when you try to catch a laugh & you blow all the bookers out your nose, well i did that 3 times ....
All worth it mate, what a ripper.

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
:rotfl:
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